The loss of a twin before birth - William Emerson

 This article was written by William Emerson, who is a womb twin survivor himself and is president of APPPAH.

William Emerson PhD

 Pre- & Perinatal Psychology Journal, 10(3), Spring 1996, 125-142.

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Many individuals with problems of aggression report the loss of a twin. Their problems with aggression typically have to do with masochism and/or neurotic self criticism. Embryological research indicates that loss of a twin may be much more likely than previously thought. Embryologists estimate that between 30% to 80% of conceptions are actually multiple (i.e. twins) rather than single. Since the rate of birthed twins is far less than 30% to 80% percent, embryologists conclude that many conceptions involved the death of one or more twins. This can be prior to or during implantation, although some happen after implantation

People who experience the loss of a twin manifest several common dynamics. First of all, there is an ineffable but profound sense of loss, despair, and rage. These feelings are usually held in, but are sometimes acted out against others. Secondly, there is a chronic but unarticulated fear that loss will happen again, and pervasive insecurity. The threat of loss is defended against by distancing from others, or by engaging in codependent relationships. Third, the ability to bond with others is deficient or neurotic because there is a lack of trust in relationships, or disbelief that relationships will last. Fourth, there is often an over compliance in life, based on the unconscious feeling that “if I don’t do what is expected or wanted, I will die.” Over compliance feeds hostility and aggression toward others, since one cannot take care of oneself when constantly complying with others. Finally, prenatal experiences of near death and/or loss are sometimes turned against oneself or others, resulting in sadistic and masochistic behaviors, criminal violence, or sadomasochistic thinking and behavior.

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 I could not have put it better myself!

What do you think?