If your twin died while you were in the womb, or while you were babies, how did your parents tell you about them while you were growing up? [Serious] (self.AskReddit)
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The book to help parents to talk about the lost twin
Really horrified and disgusted by the first comment posted by Cakelore whose mother told him/her that the twin who died in-utero at 8 months was NEVER REALLY A PERSON. I lost my twin in the first trimester and she will always and forever be a person to me. I hate people who belittle the loss of a baby, whether a twin or a singleton, thinking that its not real if its still in gestation.
ReplyDeletethat wasn't at age 8 months in utero, the comentator was 8 years old when the conversation occured and he/she says the twin was absorbed by the surviving fetus. I wonder how this was known. If a twin vanishes from ultrasound - as was the case in this story - it miostly gets abosrbed by the maternal body, not by the co-fetus. This could only happen in a monoamniotic pregnancy which is very rare.
ReplyDeleteHe still states in the story that his mother said the twin who died was never really a person... sickening.
DeleteI agree if you identify person with human being. But in the strict sense a person is the outer appearance of an individual being, shaped through relationships and experineces and in tzhat sense a fetus is NOT a person. That does not mean it is less valuable or sub-human or not an individual, but there is no sense in fantasizing sabout personal relationships in the womb. We did NOT call our twins nicknames and play hide and seek in utero. We had a fetal relationship which affects us much more powerful than the personal ones we acquired after birth normally do, because what happens to us in utero not only touches but forms our brains, our bodies, our whole exietence. Nothing that happens after birth ever affects us to such an extent. Still, there are differences between pre- and post-birth life and mixing them up does not help the process.
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