A healing path (7) Forgiving yourself

 A womb twin survivor writes:

When I was younger I was a very depressive teenager, drama queen, codependent, scared of being alone especially in the dark at night, paranoid about being kidnapped, convinced my parents had given away my twin, convinced I didn’t belong here, lonely, full of grief & sadness, woeful, full of self pity, unable to set boundaries, didn’t know what I wanted, lethargic, no motivation for life unless I thought it would fill the hole in my soul I had, searching for something/one. I carried this into my 20s when I started to drink heavily & binge & starve – again contradiction – loved to eat & yet I’d starve myself until my body craved food so much I’d binge for weeks on end. Wanted attention & yet I didn’t, wanted men to think I was sexy & yet didn’t want to have sex with them – was called a prick tease a lot; wanted to fit in & yet didn’t really like/trust anyone. Episodes of not wanting to live yet not wanting to kill myself either – just wanting ‘it’ to be over.

 What is wrong? The Dream is all.  The self pity is real, for the wound is real, but the wound can heal.  If you pick at the scars, they will never heal.