I was listening to an online radio show today about the death of a twin,
LISTEN NOW HERE
And on this programme is the idea of making memorial scrapbooks for a lost twin.
This is a simply wonderful idea.
Take a look for more here and here and memorial gardens here
Comments welcomed!
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
A silent cry: publication June 17th
After three weeks in purdah, buried in the complexities of InDesign for Mac, I have emerged slightly bleary but triumphant. The book is set. Its going to be 224 pages, with 17 chapters, an introduction a glossary and a foreword by Elizabeth Noble.
It remains to copy-edit it now and arrange for every contributor to sign an agreement. If you are one of the 80 contributors and you are wondering where your agreement is, don't worry, it will come. This will take quite a while to organise!
Publication day is 17th June. Price £7.99.
Review copies available, from early June, to journalists or anyone prepared to write a review for their own in-house journal.
Contact me via the website if you wish to write a review.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Constant, secret, seething resentment
Now this has come to light as "Resentment syndrome" : an interesting aspect of the Dream of the Womb and the need to keep that dream alive, for therein lies the lost twin. [ article here to maybe read later]
Resentment. That sense of some Great Wrong having been done to you.
Constant. That feeling that underlies every waking moment and some dreams as well.
Seething. Restless, always active, always moving, always seeking out a target.
Secret. Hidden, discrete, a little shameful but very real.
Anyone with resentment syndrome directs an incredible amount of energy towards the every day practice of feeling resentment:
resentment feels honourable because one must protect one's rights
resentment feels absolutely authentic because the feelings are so very real
what if:
What is something truly was taken; what if there was a life and death struggle? What if the weakest one did go to the wall? What if your life came at the cost of another life? What if survivor guilt is holding you back?
It seems to me that, for the survivor of an identical twin pair, resentment is probably the only way to express those feelings in born life.
Natural enough - but what a waste of good life energy. The healing is to let go of resentment and begin to live a fuller life. Forgiveness: that does it.
Resentment. That sense of some Great Wrong having been done to you.
Constant. That feeling that underlies every waking moment and some dreams as well.
Seething. Restless, always active, always moving, always seeking out a target.
Secret. Hidden, discrete, a little shameful but very real.
Anyone with resentment syndrome directs an incredible amount of energy towards the every day practice of feeling resentment:
- one can resent some past hurt or something taken away.
- one can resent the fact that something is unfair or unjust
- one can resent someone who just doesn't understand how you feel
- one can resent the fact that the world is made how it is, filled with pain and suffering
resentment feels honourable because one must protect one's rights
resentment feels absolutely authentic because the feelings are so very real
what if:
What is something truly was taken; what if there was a life and death struggle? What if the weakest one did go to the wall? What if your life came at the cost of another life? What if survivor guilt is holding you back?
It seems to me that, for the survivor of an identical twin pair, resentment is probably the only way to express those feelings in born life.
Natural enough - but what a waste of good life energy. The healing is to let go of resentment and begin to live a fuller life. Forgiveness: that does it.
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