Parents: do they damage their children?

One disturbing aspect of working with wombtwin survivors for me, has been the level of resentment against one or both parents, as if they were responsible for all one's pain and distress and indeed one's psychological problems. Sigmund Freud, not having access to wombtwin theory of course, as little was know about life before birth at that time, assumed that psychological problems were due to sexual abuse. Great, thanks.

However those who came later seem to have looked a little wider and the idea that psychological problems begin in childhood was quickly established and remains central to all psychotherapies, expect of course pre and perinatal psychotherapy, but that's a story for another time.

If one is full of resentment and looking for a place to put it, what better than Mum and Dad? Philip Larkin, ( a wombtwin survivor if ever there was one!) wrote plenty of dark, self-indulgent poetry and blamed his parents for his pain. He wrote the famous : "They F*** oyu up, your Mum and Dad. " see the rest here.

Well I have revised this poem and invite your comments;

Larkin about

They take the rap, your Mum and Dad-
They do not mean to, but they do.
They fill up with the faults you had
And take the blame for love of you.

But they were carried in their turn
By folks with quite a different brain,
And half the time tried to be firm
And half the time took on your pain.

Child hands on misery to Mum
And lets Dad carry all the shit.
Then he or she is innocent:
And that's about the size of it.