The rage of the identical wombtwin survivor

Anger and rage are destructive forces. They destroy relationships, property and lives. However, this is not a blind force. It is something over which we can gain control.

This disconnection from the “Point of Essence”, or centre, is much more painful. By cutting yourself off from your centre and purpose, you spiral into an abyss. The sadness is overwhelming as darkness and fear over come you. You shrink and disappear within yourself. This is your Dream of the Womb.

Some can go from a deep depression into a rage where they lash out in such anger that they don’t care who they hurt. The message is strong; "I want the world to feel my pain!"

The rage goes back to a direct expression of prenatal rejection. It is not the mother who rejects, but the twin, simply by not being there any more. Typical responses to this feeling of rejection and betrayal are to collapse into helplessness and hopelessness, to rage at others and the world's injustice, and/or to refuse to engage in life.

The rage at prenatal rejection leaves not so much a feeling of being rejected by the twin but as a desire to reject any other relationship - which can only be a poor substitute for the original twin bond - to reject love and intimacy in relationship, purpose, choices and mastery in life.

The rage is a useful barrier that renders the survivor neglected, hurt, helpless and alone. It is a deliberate and calculated choice, because it neatly recreates the Dream of the Womb,

At an emotional level, the rage is a terrified, abandoned and desolated response to the Black Hole, where a promise of light and love was originally made. That bright promise of the twin bond (the closest bond available in nature) was not fulfilled, leaving only a darkness :- a sense of lack, loss and emptiness.

This rage acts crazy but is not crazy. It can be understood. It is a rage against Nature; against God; against the Way Things Are. Life is simply not acceptable - not bearable - without one's Other Half. Like Narcissus, who lived until his early death in rapt contemplation of his reflected image, ignoring love and life, the identical survivor is like a zombie, only half-alive.

To heal the rage one only has to wake up to the warm reality of born life: that you are surrounded by love, by people who wish to be your friends; that no one is trying to hurt you; that the pain is yours and not being inflicted upon you. The longer you fail to forgive, let go and surrender peacefully to the way things are, the longer you will live in pain and alone.

You are creating your pain and only you can heal it by simply forgiving the hurt.