The fraternal womb twin survivor (4). dead relationships

Do you try, against all reason, to keep alive a relationship that has died?

This is how one journalist put it:

It is a cruel but unavoidable fact of life that dying relationships are not actual relationships any longer, not in the sense that they can be worked on, magicked or charmed back to life. As any spurned soul could have told him, once dead, relationships have a lot in common with jinxed wishing wells. It doesn't matter what you chuck into them - it can be your best stuff, all you've got, wrenched from the depths of your being - and still your wishes will never be answered. You will just keep throwing it all in and watching it disappear,  [more]

Where a sense of connection once breifly existed, now there is nothing but a Black Hole, where all your energy gets poured in and little or nothing comes back in the way of response or reciprocation.

It is as if they have become your Alpha and you have become their Beta -you are thye doormat upon which they wipe the dirt off their feet. There is even a book about this: The Doormat Syndrome ( this is a very familiar situation to DZ womb twin survivors. They become identified with their weaker Beta twin.

If you have ever given to the point of exhaustion, felt dumped on or ripped off, and puzzled to find yourself coming back for more; if you are involved with people who don’t appreciate you, if you equate love with doing for others, you may be experiencing The Doormat Syndrome. ( There is a book about this)

In the Dream of the womb, a responsive DZ ( dizygotic) twin has died and you are alone. That dream is re-enacted every time an intimate relationship ends.  In your grief and sense of loss is real sorrow, but also a real memory.