The fraternal womb twin survivor (6). A twin soul

Probably for want of another explanation, the idea of a twin soul - an important component of romantic love- has been associated with metaphysics and such things as karma, energy alignment and the Inner Child.

Yet there may be a more prosaic answer to why some people spend years searching for their twin soul. Of course they never manage to find him or her, and make and break a series of loving relationships in the course of their search, creating heartbreak again and again, as they continue.

What if the search for a twin soul in indeed the search for one's lost twin, who exists only in the survivor's Dream of the Womb and cannot therefore be found in born life? A lifelong, fruitless search for the unattainable twin relationship, accompanied by plenty of heartbreak, would be a pretty suitable way to reenact the Dream of the Womb where a fraternal twin was once out there somewhere but, after a brief interval, was gone.

Some of the poetry about twin souls mentions a place far away where the twin souls were once united - this sounds exactly  like the Dream of the Womb to me.

When we are apart, I lie awake at night
making love to the space between us
your fingertips are tracing my tongue
I draw you into my dreams
the sky folds around us
the stars feel like rain
and from so far away
you look like a tiny grain of sand
but you feel like the ocean
you remind me of the home I knew
before I knew I'd left it.

by Teri Robnett
www.thetenthmuse.com

We need  to take a closer look at the way we seek out other people for intimate twin/twin relationships. Many unaware womb twin survivors in the population are acting out their Dream of the Womb on each other in a cruel Dance of Death  that always ends in lonliness and heartbreak. Perhaps with a new understanding of the lost twin in the Dream of the Womb, we may be able to prevent the dysfunctional relationships created by womb twin survivors who seek out their lost twin in each other.

The fraternal womb twin survivor (4). dead relationships

Do you try, against all reason, to keep alive a relationship that has died?

This is how one journalist put it:

It is a cruel but unavoidable fact of life that dying relationships are not actual relationships any longer, not in the sense that they can be worked on, magicked or charmed back to life. As any spurned soul could have told him, once dead, relationships have a lot in common with jinxed wishing wells. It doesn't matter what you chuck into them - it can be your best stuff, all you've got, wrenched from the depths of your being - and still your wishes will never be answered. You will just keep throwing it all in and watching it disappear,  [more]

Where a sense of connection once breifly existed, now there is nothing but a Black Hole, where all your energy gets poured in and little or nothing comes back in the way of response or reciprocation.

It is as if they have become your Alpha and you have become their Beta -you are thye doormat upon which they wipe the dirt off their feet. There is even a book about this: The Doormat Syndrome ( this is a very familiar situation to DZ womb twin survivors. They become identified with their weaker Beta twin.

If you have ever given to the point of exhaustion, felt dumped on or ripped off, and puzzled to find yourself coming back for more; if you are involved with people who don’t appreciate you, if you equate love with doing for others, you may be experiencing The Doormat Syndrome. ( There is a book about this)

In the Dream of the womb, a responsive DZ ( dizygotic) twin has died and you are alone. That dream is re-enacted every time an intimate relationship ends.  In your grief and sense of loss is real sorrow, but also a real memory.

The fraternal womb twin survivor (3). fear of abandonment

The deep fear of abandonment experienced by co-dependent womb twin survivors is not caused by abuse  or neglect of primary caregivers, or experiences of being left alone and helpless. The original abandonment scenario occurred long before birth, when after many weeks of being in the company of a responsive, active little twin,the twin ceased  to be responsive or active and there was ony stillness and silence.
The fear of abandonment is regarded as a sign of a "personality disorder"  Nbut it is completely normal, under the very specific circumstances experienced by a dizygotic (DZ)  womb twin survivor before birth.

This is also known as "separation anxiety" and there is some concern that working parents may  be a possib le cause parents are themselves deeply concerned when their child is unable to tolerate separation.

Everyone is worried, theories are bandied about, but no one knows that the fear of abandonment was put in place long before birth.

Three groups of womb twin survivors

There are, I have found, various sub-groups of womb twin survivors. Right at the start, I found three distinct groups,  (I called them M type, C type and D type for want of a better term)  and despite all kinds of analysis, six different lists of questions and examining over a thousand stories, those three groups are persistent, so there must be something in this, mainly because I did not expect it, so I know Im not making it up.

I have reached a tentative conclusion about this, and  so I have made up some user-friendly names for these groups (No one likes to be categorised as a "type" that is so impersonal!)

GEMMY - they were once a fraternal (dizygotic) twin   (After Castor and Pollux, Gemini twins)

CHIRO - sole survivors of a triplet set where two of the triplets were monozygotic twins  (After Chiron, or Kyron or Cheiron, depending on where you look)

MIMI - they were once  a monozygotic (identical) twin  (Two individuals in one, each of them a ME.)

At the very start of this in 2003 I quickly found GEMMY and CHIRO, but MIMI took a while longer and is only coming clear this year.

Now Charles Boklage suggests in his work ( he did some statistical work on the incidence of vanishing twin syndrome in 1990) that most of the twins lost before birth are probably monozygotic (and male, which is interesting: most womb twin survivors who come to me are female.)  That means therefore that there are far more MIMI survivors than there are GEMMY or CHIRO survivors. But my research has not uncovered them yet, for they have not come forward. I wonder why not?

Are the "indigo" people wombtwin survivors?

A new kind of person is beginning to be identified in the population. They are known as "Indigo" people. I have studied what they say about themselves for several years now, and I have come to the astonishing conclusion that they are probably multiple wombtwin survivors: that is, they had at least two other embryos with them in the womb as they were developing. By means of my questionnaire in 2002 I quickly discovered there there were three groups of wombtwin survivors. At first I called them M types (mourning) C types (captive) and D types who were a kind of mixture of the two - I guessed then that these may be the survivors of a multiple pregnancy, but there was of course no proof and I knew so little then. I just held this in mind. Now I know that these groups represent the fraternal, identical and multiple wombtwin survivors, respectively.

If it is true that at least 10 % of pregnancies are twin or multiple pregnancies producing one child, then there are more than 600 million wombtwin survivors in the world. 10% of the population is a huge group and I have wondered how they may be identified. Some of them have identified themselves as "twinless twins" and of course many others have come to this site and identified themselves as "wombtwin survivors." There is however a much more homogeneous group who can identify themselves as "indigo people."

An indigo person is gifted in extraordinary ways.
If you are an indigo, your mind constantly races, filled with a constant tumbling stream of fresh ideas. You are highly creative and imaginative and easily use and understand metaphor. You are hyper-sensitive, hyper-intuitive and hyper-aware, to the extent of being psychic. When with other people you readily become attuned to their feelings and you have accurate empathy with them. You have a sense of the pain in others and in a desire to heal their pain you may carry it away from that encounter as if it were your own. Your hypersensitivity and imagination can undermine your ability to trust in others as you constantly scan their body language, or can enable to you to pick out a soul mate at one glance. You can sense changes in atmosphere and often answer unspoken questions or carry out unspoken requests.

Some issues are particularly difficult - disappointed expectations and unfairness in particular. Rather than disappoint someone else you will walk that extra mile for them but then be disappointed when they wont do the same for you. If people are not treated equally then this enrages you - you deeply resent labels, rules and any constraints unequally applied to you or to others.

Indigos are often preoccupied with certain social or environmental problems. Their lives are characterised by a prevailing sense of unease, a sense of "knowing", but not knowing what they do know.

Above all the indigo feels alone, different, abandoned and far from home. Life is a painful struggle to find the lost world of the past, where everything was once whole and good. Driven by a deep sense of mission to heal the world and everyone in it, the indigo seeks to heal pain wherever it can be found, on a rescue mission through which the indigo can also be saved. For them, the woundedness becomes the gift, and that is the healing.

This kind of person is not new
There are echoes in the most ancient myths about wounded healers people possessing extraordinary gifts and hyper-awareness.

Here is the story of Cheiron, the wounded healer, as described in the Greek myths. We find him today in the Indigo, and with the help of wombtwin survivor theory, we can see how that lifelong wound may be healed.

The fraternal twin pair: is it what it seems?

There is a golden rule in determining zygosity; that if there is one placenta and two babies, then we have identical twins. If the babies grow up to look a bit different from each other, the idea of their being identical still seems to remain.

On the other hand, if we have two placentas, do we have fraternal twins? A percentage of identical twins do develop separate placentas, so we cannot use the number of placentas as a certain guide. At an individual level, pairs of twins can seek out an expert to prove their zygosity by looking directly at their genes.

A further complication is the “vanishing twin” pregnancy. A pair of fraternal twins may be a triplet set, reduced to twins in the earliest stages of pregnancy and not picked up by ultrasound. If the lost triplet was of the opposite sex and an identical pair survived, then the transfer of gender-related hormones, which is known to occur between fraternal twins, may obscure the results if this twin pair takes part in research. Equally, if the lost triplet was one of an identical pair, then the surviving fraternal twins will not simply be the result of a double ovulation but instead will be a reduced triplet pregnancy, resulting in one surviving identical twin and another who is genetically unrelated. When one considers the complexities of naturally reduced triplet sets, then the placenta rule, which is after all no more than a rule of thumb, becomes far too unreliable.