Hoarding - a disorder of attachment?

MY MOTHERS GARDEN

In the suburban setting of a quiet tree-lined street in Granada Hills, California we see a 61 year old woman pushing a grocery cart to her front door. We watch her climb through a window covered in ivy and cob webs into her house, stepping on top of stacks of newspapers, piles of debris, rotting material, clothing, and toys; a living mass of waste that has literally pushed her out of the house and into her garden.

My Mother’s Garden is the story of Eugenia Lester whose hoarding disorder has entered a dangerous and life threatening stage. Directed by her daughter Cynthia, it documents how one family comes together to cope with their mother’s disorder and rebuild a lost sense of family. My Mother’s Garden was an official selection of the 2006 New York IFP Market and was a finalist for the IFP Socially Conscious Documentary Award. The film has also received support from the 2007 New York State Council For the Arts and the 2007 Pacific Pioneer Fund.

Director’s statement:

My personal journey through this documentary was necessary to heal the wounds of abandonment, isolation, and dependency that are often present when raised by a parent with a persistent mental illness. Though my brothers and I are now adults, we all feel a deep need for a stabilizing center for our family, a permanent place to call home. This longing for stability has caused disorder in our lives, both socially and emotionally. Through this documentary, I am applying my experience in social work, art therapy, and filmmaking to my own family. I hope that the film can be therapeutic as well as a creative work of art that will help bring awareness to the issue of mental illness and also reach others who are sympathetic to this subject matter. Cynthia Lester Director

Take a look at this

The family got her out of the house for eight weeks and they cleared it out for her. She fell into bed and into despair. "Everythings gone" she said, mourning her stuff.

It is becoming clear that hoarding is an attachment disorder, but only in the sense that the stuff stands in for something ( or maybe Someone ) else. A house filled with clutter is a mausoleum to the dead. The task of the clutterer is to hold on - never let go.

Wombtwin survivors hoard, we know that. Are hoarders wombtwin survivors? We should be asking that question, because if they are, we can help.

A new article: Attachment issues associated with the loss of a co-twin before birth

Abstract

A brief study of twins and their relationship quickly reveals what is known as the “twin bond”. This is the primary attachment bond for twins and it is quite unlike any other bond. Twins live entwined lives, at every level imaginable. This article will explore the ways in which the twin bond differs from all other attachment bonds formed in the lifetime of a human being. We will consider the bond between identical twins first, in their total preoccupation for each other and their constant struggle for identity, individuality and equality within the twin pair. Then we will take a look at fraternal twinning and how different this bonding is and how it varies widely among twins and between twin pairs, according to the gender mix and genetic differences.

Finally, we will examine the psychology of “wombtwin survivors” who are people who started life as a twin but whose co-twin died before birth. This study will reveal how the twin attachment bond is created in the womb at the very beginning of life and lasts a lifetime. Wombtwin survivors display many of the same characteristics of twins who are born together, for the effects of the bond between twins - the preoccupation; the paradox; the lack of a sense of identity and the need for the physical presence of the lost co-twin - is also present in the life of the sole survivor.

The survivor once shared a womb, and sometimes even a placenta and amniotic sac, with their twin, but this happened too early to be accessible as a memory in born life. However many wombtwin survivors are not aware of their twin. Unknowingly troubled by the loss of their twin but unable to find words to express their feelings of loss and sorrow, they are greatly helped when they are taken seriously as being genuinely bereaved by the death of their twin before birth. Just to know that there is a normal and rational reason for their feelings and attitudes can be a great relief. Then therapists can facilitate a healing process that will enable the survivor to begin to build close relationships with others, which will help to combat the prevailing sense of isolation and grief commonly experienced by the bereaved twin.

Published today in the journal Attachment and Human Development.