A new article: Attachment issues associated with the loss of a co-twin before birth

Abstract

A brief study of twins and their relationship quickly reveals what is known as the “twin bond”. This is the primary attachment bond for twins and it is quite unlike any other bond. Twins live entwined lives, at every level imaginable. This article will explore the ways in which the twin bond differs from all other attachment bonds formed in the lifetime of a human being. We will consider the bond between identical twins first, in their total preoccupation for each other and their constant struggle for identity, individuality and equality within the twin pair. Then we will take a look at fraternal twinning and how different this bonding is and how it varies widely among twins and between twin pairs, according to the gender mix and genetic differences.

Finally, we will examine the psychology of “wombtwin survivors” who are people who started life as a twin but whose co-twin died before birth. This study will reveal how the twin attachment bond is created in the womb at the very beginning of life and lasts a lifetime. Wombtwin survivors display many of the same characteristics of twins who are born together, for the effects of the bond between twins - the preoccupation; the paradox; the lack of a sense of identity and the need for the physical presence of the lost co-twin - is also present in the life of the sole survivor.

The survivor once shared a womb, and sometimes even a placenta and amniotic sac, with their twin, but this happened too early to be accessible as a memory in born life. However many wombtwin survivors are not aware of their twin. Unknowingly troubled by the loss of their twin but unable to find words to express their feelings of loss and sorrow, they are greatly helped when they are taken seriously as being genuinely bereaved by the death of their twin before birth. Just to know that there is a normal and rational reason for their feelings and attitudes can be a great relief. Then therapists can facilitate a healing process that will enable the survivor to begin to build close relationships with others, which will help to combat the prevailing sense of isolation and grief commonly experienced by the bereaved twin.

Published today in the journal Attachment and Human Development.