In the Black Hole, which is the story of the death of your womb twin, is also the story of your twin's brief life, which could be measured in hours, days or months, depending on what happened. The trouble is that a promise was made at conception, that there would be two, but then there was one.
That sense of a disappointed expectation is a betrayal. It's a sense of being precipitated into an alien world for which one is not equipped. Betrayal breeds resentment in the betrayed, and when life betrays you, there can be no other response but to resent life itself. Life has been cruel and you have been hurt by the simple act of being the sole survivor. That is a raw deal indeed.
When a twin dies before birth, the sole survivor needs help and understanding. Womb twin survivors are the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy. This group, 1 in 10 of the population, includes survivors of a stillbirth, miscarriage, abortion and a "vanishing twin" pregnancy. It is a story of a twin bond broken by death, leaving a lonely survivor.
Showing posts with label halfness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label halfness. Show all posts
Monday, November 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
DZ womb twin survivors - on being two
Two-ness
DZ womb twin survivors love to be one of a pair. They love two-ness. As children they may show a preoccupation with twins, or tend to frequently point out " two things the same". Later they may discover a great love of symmetry or balance. They may seek out opposite extremes to complete their lives or they may like to have two the same of what they like, such as two cats, two cars or two computers. In partnership they may prefer to work with someone who is the opposite of themselves or be deeply attracted to someone born on the same day or with the same name. They love to discover sameness with their friends or relations.
Need for a soul mate
In babyhood DZ womb twin survivors constantly mutter or sing to themselves, and may have an imaginary friend if they are an only child. As children they are good communicators. They may be unhappy at the thought of not having friends but sometimes their eagerness to make friends drives people away and they spend a lot of time by themselves looking on. If they learn to charm people or make them laugh, they will make good use of that skill wherever they can.
The adult DZ womb twin survivor is diminished in power if he or she lives and works alone. If he or she learns to form a partnership then they can both can be fully-functioning, using the partnership itself as a way to bring forth the full creative potential of both parties. Adult DZ womb twin survivors may spend hours talking to themselves in order to solve a problem, but to them creative bliss is close contact with a creative friend and the joy of seeing something emerge in discussion that is greater than either of them could achieve alone.
DZ survivors can relate easily to very similar people or absolute opposites. The easiest people for them to relate to are other DZ womb twin survivors. They sniff each other out in crowds and even at bus stops and are quickly to be found deep in conversation at an intimate level.
Split personality
DZ womb twin survivors often joke about this. The two-ness they love is expressed inwardly in the way they live and behave. For example they may be very different at home and among their family from how they are at work. This may be confusing for them: they seem to have two very contrasting sides to their personality and they tend not to be sure which is "me" and which is "not me". In their frantic rush through life they find it remarkably easy if necessary to sit still and quiet, drawing on a little used part of themselves to do this. They are often very patient people with a strong capacity for endurance. They may talk about "a strong inner life" that enables them to suffer pain, long periods of forced inactivity or solitude.
An interesting slant is that some DZ womb twin survivors gain a lot of weight and change shape entirely as a result, only to lose it again and "become another person." This may be repeated several times. Some people may gain and lose half their body weight. Some people who carry their weight on their stomach joke about "looking pregnant. " There may be a link here with the desire to hold on to a womb twin.
DZ womb twin survivors love to be one of a pair. They love two-ness. As children they may show a preoccupation with twins, or tend to frequently point out " two things the same". Later they may discover a great love of symmetry or balance. They may seek out opposite extremes to complete their lives or they may like to have two the same of what they like, such as two cats, two cars or two computers. In partnership they may prefer to work with someone who is the opposite of themselves or be deeply attracted to someone born on the same day or with the same name. They love to discover sameness with their friends or relations.
Need for a soul mate
In babyhood DZ womb twin survivors constantly mutter or sing to themselves, and may have an imaginary friend if they are an only child. As children they are good communicators. They may be unhappy at the thought of not having friends but sometimes their eagerness to make friends drives people away and they spend a lot of time by themselves looking on. If they learn to charm people or make them laugh, they will make good use of that skill wherever they can.
The adult DZ womb twin survivor is diminished in power if he or she lives and works alone. If he or she learns to form a partnership then they can both can be fully-functioning, using the partnership itself as a way to bring forth the full creative potential of both parties. Adult DZ womb twin survivors may spend hours talking to themselves in order to solve a problem, but to them creative bliss is close contact with a creative friend and the joy of seeing something emerge in discussion that is greater than either of them could achieve alone.
DZ survivors can relate easily to very similar people or absolute opposites. The easiest people for them to relate to are other DZ womb twin survivors. They sniff each other out in crowds and even at bus stops and are quickly to be found deep in conversation at an intimate level.
Split personality
DZ womb twin survivors often joke about this. The two-ness they love is expressed inwardly in the way they live and behave. For example they may be very different at home and among their family from how they are at work. This may be confusing for them: they seem to have two very contrasting sides to their personality and they tend not to be sure which is "me" and which is "not me". In their frantic rush through life they find it remarkably easy if necessary to sit still and quiet, drawing on a little used part of themselves to do this. They are often very patient people with a strong capacity for endurance. They may talk about "a strong inner life" that enables them to suffer pain, long periods of forced inactivity or solitude.
An interesting slant is that some DZ womb twin survivors gain a lot of weight and change shape entirely as a result, only to lose it again and "become another person." This may be repeated several times. Some people may gain and lose half their body weight. Some people who carry their weight on their stomach joke about "looking pregnant. " There may be a link here with the desire to hold on to a womb twin.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
MZ womb twin survivors : mirrors and reflections
It can happen that a zygote may split into two miror images, creating mirror twins.
Here is a picture of mirror twins as adults.
Among mirror twins, one is right handed and the other left handed. One my even have organs displaced to the opposite side, even the heart. There are variations though, in the degree of mirroring between mirror twins. Its an inexact thing - like so much in human reproduction where the number of variables is enormous.
Yet the mirror twin, a sure and always available mirror image of oneself, is a beautiful image to be found in song and poetry, as this beautiful poem shows:
Do you seek out a mirror to yourself? Do you have an obsession with mirrors, or maybe you have an aversion to them. Do you talk im the mirror for ages, talking over your problems with your mirror image? Is your mirror image not you but a dear friend?
It has been written that
Faced with someone who claims to be your friend, but who doesn't REALLY understand, who doesn't seem to listen to what is there in your heart, (so obvious to you that surely they MUST see it) is a terrible and painful betrayal. It precipitates you into your Black Hole where your mirror image is no longer there and you are left - alone.
Here is a picture of mirror twins as adults.
 | ||
| Notice that one twin is taller, the other one more muscular. Identical twins are never truly identical! |
Among mirror twins, one is right handed and the other left handed. One my even have organs displaced to the opposite side, even the heart. There are variations though, in the degree of mirroring between mirror twins. Its an inexact thing - like so much in human reproduction where the number of variables is enormous.
Yet the mirror twin, a sure and always available mirror image of oneself, is a beautiful image to be found in song and poetry, as this beautiful poem shows:
Do you seek out a mirror to yourself? Do you have an obsession with mirrors, or maybe you have an aversion to them. Do you talk im the mirror for ages, talking over your problems with your mirror image? Is your mirror image not you but a dear friend?
It has been written that
....we seek forever that which one's imagination is creating, that which corresponds to one's own image: likeness. The identity of sameness must be overcome, because it threatens one's own barely emerging separate being with becoming swallowed up again. Otherness, on the other hand, is too dangerous, for disagreement or even definition of oneself, would remove the mirroring which one needs in order to belong. What one looks for from the other is acknowledgement of one's perceptions and one's thoughts and feelings, one's body and of the world one has created as being one's own while yet being within the range of possible experiences of the other. This creates likeness between self and other while, at the same time, confirming the separate existence of each.If you constantly seek out a mirror image of yourself in others, and if it upsets you terribly when people do not see the world the same way as you, or even disagree absolutely with your perception of reality, you may be a mirror MZ womb twin survivor. Only a perfect mirror image of yourself will do - someone who "gets" you absolutely, with absolute empathy, verging on telepathy. With them you are safe, for they just know how you are feeling without you having to explain. Then the Dream of the Womb is fulfilled and your mirror twin is back again.
Faced with someone who claims to be your friend, but who doesn't REALLY understand, who doesn't seem to listen to what is there in your heart, (so obvious to you that surely they MUST see it) is a terrible and painful betrayal. It precipitates you into your Black Hole where your mirror image is no longer there and you are left - alone.
Friday, September 02, 2011
MZ womb twin survivors: The missing half
When you see living twins, there is no doubt that they are well adapted to having each other around. This video shows how twins don't necessarily disturb each other and one may cry and wiggle about while the other continues to sleep.
As in the womb, so in life. The twins regard each other as simply part of the Way Things Are. They have been together since they were aware of anything at all.
The sole survivor, left alone when their monozygotic twin dies, is used to there being two.
As Julie Rae wrote in her poem, that introduces part one of Womb Twin survivors -The lost twin in the Dream of the Womb:
Do you seek out a Best Friend to make you feel complete?
Do you feel stronger when there is somone else around who is very similar to you?
Do you always notice identical twins and feel a pang of longing?
If you do, you may be a monozygotic womb twin survivor and your twin is still, even years later, part of the Way Things Are.
As in the womb, so in life. The twins regard each other as simply part of the Way Things Are. They have been together since they were aware of anything at all.
The sole survivor, left alone when their monozygotic twin dies, is used to there being two.
As Julie Rae wrote in her poem, that introduces part one of Womb Twin survivors -The lost twin in the Dream of the Womb:
As I pushed throughDo you have a sense of being only half?
into this bright, noisy world alone
there should have been two
there should have been you...
I miss you.
Do you seek out a Best Friend to make you feel complete?
Do you feel stronger when there is somone else around who is very similar to you?
Do you always notice identical twins and feel a pang of longing?
If you do, you may be a monozygotic womb twin survivor and your twin is still, even years later, part of the Way Things Are.
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