Signs of a twin conception: (4) miscarriage, but pregnancy continues

The "miscarriage" of a baby involves the expulsion of the baby from the uterus and the end of the pregnancy.  [Download a full explanation here.]  If the loss is in the first trimester, the womb twin survivor usually suffers no physical effects, but in the second trimester there is a greater risk of pregnancy complications.


Jenny was told many times over by her mother that she was a "miracle child", because around 13 weeks of pregnancy  her mother had cramps and bleeding. She passed " something which looked like a little bird".   She went to the doctor, who recommended a D &C. The usual situation is that the pregnant woman waits a week to allow the contents of the uterus to be expelled naturally, but  Jenny's mother decided to go ahead with the D&C.   The next day she was on her way to the hospital but something did not seem right, so she asked for another scan, to be quite sure.  The doctor was surprised to find she was still pregnant and the D&C operation was cancelled.  Jenny's mother had been carrying twins. 

When Jenny was born at 39 weeks - very small at only 3lbs -  she was perfectly healthy.   However, by the time she was about 7 years old she began to feel as if there was something missing.

"I have always felt like I wasn't here, there is something missing in my life but I never know what it is.  I have found life very difficult not knowing who I am or who I was meant to be and everything I do in life doesn't feel right in some way.  I have always sensed something was around me I would have conversations with people who weren't there. I had feeling sand emotions that others never understood. I have always wondered if I am the way I am because I lost my twin."

There is a story of a miscarriage on my web site, from both points of view, mother and child.  I wonder how many babies have been lost because a D&C was carried out after the miscarriage of one twin.  Until scanning in pregnancy became more of a routine, no one would have known that there was a womb twin survivor still in the womb, struggling to survive. 

Also, no one would have guessed with that the loss of that tiny twin would affect the survivor in a psychological way, and still very few people are prepared to believe this.  (90% of the population does not understand.)  Over a thousand people have now completed the questionnaire and the commonest situation they describe (if they have been told about their twin at all) is that their mother thought she had miscarried, but she remained pregnant and a single baby was eventually born - a womb twin survivor.  

Is my little womb twin survivor missing her twin?

This was sent to me a while ago and I want to share it with you all:

At 32 weeks gestation, one of our identical twins died from an umbilical cord accident. My doctor performed an emergency C-section to save the surviving twin. She was very sick and lived on the ventilator for four days. She stayed in NICU for about a month before she came home. She is now 4 years old  and has started Preschool. She is having a very difficult time. She has been crying every day--worried that I will not come to pick her up. (I have never left my child anywhere, ever.) I don't know where these feelings/fears of abandonment are coming from. All of a sudden she has some kind of seperation anxiety. She has gone to babysitters with no problem. I don't understand the school anxiety. (She does have twin sisters whom are 2 years old. We are not sure if they are identical. Both pregnancies were conceived naturally.) She has always known about her twin. We talk about her often. Could it be that she is old enough now to see and understand the bond between her twin sisters and could this be causing her to miss her own twin and possibly have feelings of loneliness??? Your insight would be greatly appreciated. I just don't understand her feelings right now. It breaks my heart to think she is feeling lonely and/or missing her twin. 

My advice was this:

• This little girl simply needs to understand that her feelings are appropriate and not in any way wrong or a mistake.
• The fact that Mum doesn't understand her feelings may be a real problem because identical twin survivors need to be understood without ever having to explain.
• Some drawing, painting modelling with clay or sand may help her to express the inexpressible. 
• A twin substitute, which she can take to school with her, may also help.

I await a response from this worried mother.

Do you have any thoughts on this?