The imaginary friend in a novel - Icarus Girl

Published in 2005, this story is about an imaginary friend. (Evidently a lost twin, but but seemingly none of the readers or reviewers got that. Of course that was seven years ago and a lot has happened since then ........)

From the guardian:

The Icarus Girl
by Helen Oyeyemi
280pp, Bloomsbury, £16.99

The Icarus Girl, a debut novel completed when its author was still at school, begins innocently, with a childish debate about identity. An eight-year-old girl is hiding in a cupboard "saying quietly to herself, I am in the cupboard. She felt that she needed to be saying this so that it would be real. It was similar to her waking up and saying to herself, My name is Jessamy. I am eight years old." Jessamy likes to amend her favourite children's classics by writing new versions over their pages with her pen: "Beth's so nice you'd think Louisa May Alcott would have treated her better." It turns out that she herself is the heroine of an unalterable hurt narrative, her tale of herself and her imaginary friend, which twists into a new version of the doppelgänger myth, the myth of the fetch, the fateful twin. It's a story with an eye for the baroque state that childhood can be and on the damage that cultural fracture inflicts on everybody, no matter how young or old.

The womb twin survivor in literature : "Twin Bred"

A new book by Karen A Wyle published yesterday, 15th October as a paperback and an ebook.

 TWIN-BRED

Humans have lived on Tofarn for seventy years, but the Tofa remain an enigma -- from their featureless faces to their shifting number of arms. Misunderstandings breed conflict, and conflict could bring war. Scientist Mara Cadell's radical proposal: that host mothers carry fraternal twins, human and Tofa, who might provide a breakthrough in inter-species understanding. Mara's own twin, Levi, died in utero -- but Mara has secretly kept him alive in her mind as companion and collaborator.

The Tofa agree to Mara's project -- but they have their own agenda. And so does one member of the human Council, who believes that the human colonists should have exterminated the Tofa on arrival. Mara must shepherd the Twin-Bred project through dangers that even the canny Levi could not foresee. Will the Twin-Bred bring peace, war, or something else entirely?

A novel by Karen A. Wyle

A fascinating idea.  The mere fact of being a womb twin survivor is such a wonderful gift, being mainly the gift of empathy towards others.  I read it as an ebook, which increased the sense of other- worldliness.  The story is tense and fascinating, as we are taken through the intricacies of plot and counter-plot, but for me there are occasional moments when the great gifts of being a womb twin survivor  are demonstrated to the reader in a completely new way. (A great twist at the end, which I won't reveal!)

Levi, Mara's fantasy twin brother, is evidently very much alive in her life.  The project is to create a whole population of twins, to change the world. A bold idea, which may capture the imagination of many people, but in particular womb twin survivors will enjoy the moments of insight when the world realises what twins have to offer, simply because they learned to live with others who are very different, long before birth.

Karen, I salute you.  We need more positive stories like this about womb twin survivors. It's not all about death and loss, it's also about gratitude, love and personal responsibility.

Womb Twin Survivors as writers: Alison Larkin

In her book " The English American" based on her own life experience, Alison Larkin has created a character born in America and adopted by an English couple, who discovers her twin once she has had a chance to speak to her natural mother.

Alison Larkin has a web site

On this site the book is described thus:

When Pippa Dunn, adopted as an infant and raised terribly British, discovers that her birth parents are from the American South, she finds that “culture clash” has layers of meaning she’d never imagined. Meet The English American, a fabulously funny, deeply poignant debut novel that sprang from Larkin’s autobiographical one-woman show of the same name.

In many ways, Pippa Dunn is very English: she eats Marmite and toast, knows how to make a proper cup of tea, went to a posh English boarding school, finds it entirely familiar to discuss the crossword rather than exchange any cross words over dinner with her proper English family. But Pippa--creative, disheveled, and impulsive to the core--has always felt different from her perfectly poised, smartly coiffed sister and steady, practical parents, whose pastimes include Scottish dancing, gardening, and watching cricket.

When Pippa learns at age twenty-eight that her birth parents are from the American South, she feels that lifelong questions have been answered. She meets her birth mother, an untidy, artistic, free spirited red-head, and her birth father, a charismatic (politically involved) businessman in Washington, D.C.; and moves to America to be near them. At the same time, she relies on the guidance of a young man with whom she feels a mysterious connection; a man who discovered his own estranged father, and who, like her birth parents, seems to understand her in a way that no one in her life has done before. Pippa feels she has found her “self” and everything she thought she wanted. But has she?

Caught between two opposing cultures, two sets of parents, and two completely different men Pippa is plunged into hilarious, heart-wrenching chaos. The birth father she adores turns out to be involved in neoconservative activities she hates; the mesmerizing mother who once abandoned her now refuses to let her go. And the man of her fantasies may be just that…

With an authentic adopted heroine at its center, Larkin’s compulsively readable first novel unearths universal truths about love, identity, and family with wit, warmth, and heart.

Her lost twin brother is there, but only hinted at. The story does not suffer at all because of that, as it is a lovely heartwarming tale.  (I have the audiobook and love it.)

I am looking forward to a book about a womb twin survivor where the lost twin is central to the story. As you will see tomorrow, when you check in with this blog, I have found one.

The Survivor - A true story of a young womb twin survivor

The Survivor by Lynne Schulz    (read more here)    


This book tells the real story of a young womb twin survivor, and what effect the pre-birth loss of his twin sister had upon him. In her contribution to the 2007 anthology, "Untwinned: perspectives on the death of a twin before birth", Lynne Schulz explained what it is like to be the parent of a womb twin survivor, living in a disbelieving world.

The anthology

As the mother of a surviving twin I have experienced ridicule and disbelief from friends, family, child carers and school teachers whenever I have even mentioned that my eldest son is a surviving twin, and therefore different to singleton children. In an attempt to make the lives of other twin loss families a little easier, myself and a small dedicated team set out to try and educate those who came into contact with multiple loss families such as my own to be a little more empathetic towards our unique needs.

Twinship evokes an enormous amount of curiosity and interest throughout our society. The media are often guilty of turning the whole topic of multiple births into a circus event.my second book, The Survivor, I look at how twinship is viewed in different ways. Interestingly enough, the whole concept of twinship continues to be shrouded in mystical, magical, even romantic notions. 

In explaining the differences between a singleton and multiple pregnancy, I want you to imagine that I am holding two apples. Each piece of fruit represents a pregnancy. The first apple is one complete unit, whilst the other has been sliced into two. Even though one apple has been divided into portions, it remains exactly like the first one, i.e. one whole, healthy apple. Now, if we take away one half of the divided piece of fruit, what do we have left ? We are left with part of an apple. It has not turned itself into a banana, or a grapefruit.It remains an apple.
 

When a baby dies in a twin pregnancy, it is like removing half of the apple. The picture now appears out of balance. It does not look quite right to the untrained eye. That is precisely how a surviving twin appears to the world – a slightly unbalanced picture. Something is missing and behavioural patterns and physical abilities may not be quite right. The child has not magically turned into a singleton
package – that child will always be a twin for the rest of their entire life.

Well said!!

Information for womb twin survivors: an introduction

In 2003 after almost two years of research I decided I had enough to go on to put something into print. I made several failed attempts to create a book, but I still had some material that would be useful, and I had written a lot for the womb twin web site, which was developing rapidly as my research widened in scope. So I compiled an introduction to the whole idea: it was my first publication in this subject.

After  a year or two I made this a free download, so that anyone who is interested can read more.

Download your copy now

New vanishing twin images

Well after several months of experimenting with every conceivable way to make images for the new book (Which new book? See here)  I had it done in a few hours yesterday and today to celebrate I made a tiny little movie of just under 2 minutes: here it is:



All comments welcomed!!!

Your sonnet - one week to go

There are just a few days left now to submit your poem for the competition.

Win £50 and also to have your poem published as the preface in my forthcoming book: "Womb Twin Survivors : the Lost Twin in the Dream of the Womb."

To enter: Write your poem as a SONNET, that is in 14 lines, according to the rules set out here:

Email it to me with full contact details. Only one entry per person. Deadline midnight GMT March 31st 2010. 

The winner will be announced on May 1st 2010.  Prize money awarded on publication, plus a complimentary copy of the book. The poet keeps the copyright on the poem and agrees to this single use of the poem as a preface to the book.

All submissions will be posted on the wombtwinsurvivors website in early May 2010.

I look forward to reading the entries.

Womb twin stories

After the maelstrom of last week, being accused of being a "fraud" and promoting some kind of "delusion" or " fantasy"  to people who are "mentally fragile and easily manipulated" etc etc.  by a bunch of so-called "skeptics" on their own special forum for being sceptical about everything (except being sceptical)  I returned home from holiday to find a load of emails, including this story. This lady has agreed to having her story made public.


 A few months ago, my mother was talking to me about my personality and traits that I have. I am a quiet, shy person until you get to know me. I always think of others before I think of myself. I never understood why others aren't like me. I always thought it was because I was raised in a christian home and was told to think of others before you think of yourself. But if I hear that someone has been hurt, for instance, I put myself in their shoes and actually feel the feelings for them. I also do not stand up for myself- a characteristic that I do not personally like, but I feel as if I am doing wrong if I speak my mind, so it stays bottled up. I think about death a lot. This is not necessarily a negative or positive thing for me. There have been thoughts of suicide in my life, as of now, I am a mother of 2, and a wife. I have other people to think about than me leaving this world.

My mom told me she didn't understand why I'm that way. Then I started thinking, well my biggest fear in my life is to be left alone. And I started thinking about it, and everytime I turn around, someone is leaving me. When I was born December 3, my mother had me at 26 weeks pregnant. I was a twin and the doctors thought my placenta was infected, so they induced the delivery. My mother had other complications trying to get pregnant, and when she was pregnant. I survived, my brother was crushed by my mothers uterus during delivery. While my mother was planning a funeral for her new son, I was in NICU fighting for my life. I stayed in the intensive care unit with nurses watching me around the clock. I weighed 1 lb. 10 oz at birth. My skin was transparent, and I still hadnt developed features, such as fingernails. I stayed in the hospital through Christmas and Easter that year. I was allowed to go home in March. Beyond belief of nurses and doctors, I had survived! All the prayers and blessings kept me alive! 


I was always afraid that I would be left alone in this world one day. The thought of that shadowed my young life often. When others argued or fought, I would try to be peace maker and try to stop it. I thought that if I could do something for someone else, everyone would be happy and all would be fine. Well, needless to say, I have finally learned that you can't please everyone. You can't make others happy if they don't want to be. I am still trying to please others, but look after my own life too. I have just started researching twins, to see if there were any reasons that I am the way that I am to better understand myself. I really want healing in my life. And to stop these negative feelings and thoughts that run through my head. While researching, I found out that there really is no information on womb twin survivors. This has compelled me to want to know more. And if there are 1 in 10 in this world that are survivors, then we need to help each other and ourselves to understand the feelings and reasons why we are the way we are. I want to join Womb twin to be a part of this organization and to begin the healing process myself, and to help others in any way I can to better understand these thoughts and feelings for them to go on with their lives. 


Now thats more like it! Lets forget scorn, derision and all the other forms of verbal abuse that some people like to throw at me, because they are so full of rage and hate and need a place to dump it. 


Here is a story that inspires me and shows that womb twin survivors are indeed a neglected group and I for one will try and do something about it. 


Onward! Chapter 9 will be about the history of twin research. The first chapter to address the Case of the Vanishing Twin. There will be 4 chapters in this part. More later.


Be well, my friends - here at least, Spring has arrived at last!

Who is the useful enemy for a womb twin survivor?

This quote from a recently published business book:

Having an enemy gives you a great story to tell customers, too. Taking a stand always stands out. People get stoked by conflict. They take sides. Passions are ignited. And that’s a good way to get people to take notice.

I need to discover who my enemies are then I can "pick a fight and inflame passions and get noticed." 

Sounds good but maybe a bit exhausting? In business its the Other car manufacturer, in education is the Other School; in the family it's the Truculent Teenager. I suppose starting a war does make the papers: peace is not at all sensational for journalists. 

Who should be my enemy what is my war? What should be my "stand"? 

I suppose it's this:

I have decided to believe womb twin survivors who have no proof of their twin, when they say they believe they lost a twin before birth. 

Let them laugh, jeer and throw scorn on my naive beliefs. Let them call me a weirdo. I am not going to change my mind now. Not after seven years of research, hundreds of case histories etc.

Do I want a helpful enemy? No, not really. I have hundreds of friends now - they are all womb twin survivors.   I dont need a  war.  Anyone who wants a war with me will just get ignored. I will ignore them - but not insult them as they frequently insult me (yes I  have had plenty of that, see previous posts) they are just ignorant. Maybe when they read my new book they will understand.

Well that's a relief. No need for a war, just calm, clear thinking and  lots of hard work. That will do  it.  (I hope.)  

So. Now on to chapter eight......

Hermaphrodites

I have I think finally fought my way through the medical ramifications of the death of a twin before birth. I was not expecting to find so much about chimeras and hermaphrodites, and the latest chapter, which concentrates on  the way that twins unite, does end with that, but I got so exhausted I just stopped writing and I will revisit this in the second draft.

Hermaphrodite

If you are a chimera and merged with your DZ twin and he or she was the same sex as you, then in the absence of any skin or eye colour anomalies, there would be little proof, unless you happened to take a DNA test. However, if you merged with your DZ twin and he or she was the opposite sex to you, chimerism may be more easily identified. Chimeras that have both male and female cells are called “hermaphodite.”

This rather exotic term is derived from Greek mythology. Hermaphroditus was a son of Hermes and Aphrodite. The nymph Salmacis fell in love with him and prayed to be forever united with him. They became joined in a single body that retained characteristics of both sexes.

The general understanding of a hermaphrodite is a person who is genetically both male and female, and has the sexual organs of both sexes. In fact, experts say that hermaphroditism is a spectrum, from normal fertile males with all sexual equipment present and intact, to normal, fertile females, also with all sexual organs present and intact. But in the midst of this spectrum there are people with the sexual characteristics of the opposite sex. They are described as “inter-sex” if their bodies express both sexes, such as having both sets of genitalia, and “transsexual” if they begin life as one sex but have an overwhelming desire to change to the opposite sex.

In the medical literature there is so much emphasis on people with sexual ambiguity or other gonadal problems, that the “ normal” male/female chimeras remain unnoticed, simply because they look and act normal.

Now its time to write about our non- human womb companions - moles, fibroids and of course our old friend the placenta......

Chapter five complete!

Encouraged by a sudden increase in personal space to write and more energy as a long awaited Spring approaches, Chapter Five is finished ( for the moment) and my beloved mentors are struggling with the death of a twin in the first trimester.

Now I'm off into the realms of the biologically-improbable-but-true, as I discuss the Twin Within. 

As  I approach the end of Part One this seems the time to make a web page for this book.  So I did:

It's here, and you can read all about it! 

New Wiki to provide feedback on my books

Enjoyed "A Silent Cry?"

Found "Untwinned" too technical?

Tried "A healing Path" but it didn't work for you?

Can't wait to read the new Womb Twin book?

Whatever your opinion, I want to hear it. So if you have ever bought one of my books, please visit my new wiki where there can be discussions on every book!


WIKI  HERE

Chapter four!

So far, I have written about fetal development, twinning and the death of a twin at birth.

Now we delve deeper into the mysteries of intrauterine life  and death - the womb story.

Now it's twin disruption sequence in monochorionic pregnancies  ( Yes there will be a glossary and I will explain these terns as I go!!)

Three days work and I have a mere 1900 words on the death of a twin in the second trimester. Remind me: why is this book SO important? Why must I strive to find the hours to pull it together NOW, despite a dozen reasons to put it off and do other things?

I hear you saying it:. "This book is important because few people fully understand the biology and almost no one truly gets the psychology of womb twin survivors.  You are linking the two.  So get on with it."

OK. Point taken.

Back to the keyboard of my trusty imac.


 (wipes brow, sips glass of wine......)

New year- new adventures

2010 will, if things go well, be the year that this Womb Twin project will come of age.

I am on chapter 4 of what I hope will be the definitive book on the subject of how it feels to be a womb twin survivor.

I hope to have this finished by  September, so it will be available for the Wombtwin Conference in October.

Then I will be creating a group for the parents of womb twin survivors in Hertfordshire, England, where I live.

And a healing group for womb twin survivors in London.

We have a membership secretary for Wombtwin.com, a newsletter editor for Gemini Voices and a conference secretary for October 3rd, as of today!

We have a new patron William Bingley, of which more soon.

Our new CMS website will go online next weekend, courtesy of our website volunteer from IT4C.

It promises to be a great year!

New volunteers still needed. Even the smallest effort makes a huge difference, because we are as yet a small group.

Email me for details about anything mentioned here.

Wonderful stories!

In May of this year, when I began writing the book of the Womb Twin project, (Womb Twin survivors: the lost twin in the Dream of the Womb)  I advertised for some stories that I could use to illustrate the points being made.

I have just sorted them out  today, and I have more than 100 stories given to me with an agreement that I can use them and the writer will remain anonymous.

Thank you,  thank you!  You know who you are.

I get such wonderful support for this project in some ways. This is wonderful.

All I have to do is go on writing. I have just finished Chapter three, which details all the various ways that a twin may die close to birth or in the last trimester. Many womb twin survivors are born prematurely and have health problems as a result.  It has been a difficult and very sad chapter to write.

GEMINI VOICES: email newsletter for October

After a frantic rush through September - yes I'm at chapter five now! - I have sent out the latest newsletter.

To get it every month direct to your inbox, click here to subscribe.

So it begins...

Well, I have at last after seven years begun what I have come to call "The magnum opus" - the Great task.

• I have 4 gigobytes of computer files on the subject of wombtwin survivors
• I have seven large ring binders of papers
• I have 500 completed questionnaires, about half of them with a story
• I have 43 wonderful people who have agreed for me to quote anonymously from their story.
• I have articles on various aspects of being a wombtwin survivor, all referenced.
• I have 350 references already in my Endnote library
• I have time, energy, commitment (not to say obsession!) and about 9 months.

Can I do it? Can I bring to birth the Book of the Wombtwin project?

Working title: "Wombtwin Survivors: the Lost Twin in the Dream of the Womb."

Encouraging comments, please!

A new book

Dr Brent Babcock has written a book about his healing journey as a wombtwin survivor.  He told me today and I went to take a look.

Here is is on his new website www.vanishingtwin.com

Here is how to view and order the book via Tate Publishing  click here

My Twin Vanished: Did Yours? The Vanishing Twin Crisis by Dr. Brent H. Babcock "The deepest imprinting for the personality of a human develops in the womb. It is a little-known fact that one out of eight single births began as twins. Saddled with the loss of this ultimate relationship even before birth, tens of millions of Americans have gone in search of that relationship. In their searches, they become lost in dysfunctional cycles of addiction, abuse, sickness, mental illness, or suicide, without even knowing why. In My Twin Vanished, Dr. Brent Babcock shows that these painful and dysfunctional patterns can be traced back to the phenomenon of the vanished twin. This life-altering book connects the dots to life's questions for those who have been seeking answers without relief. Doctors, nurses, clergy, and counselors will find new understanding and answers in My Twin Vanished, as will all who unknowingly are surviving twins." I am so glad. With 600,000,000 wombtwin survivors in the world we cant have enough books n this subject!

A traumatic birth

A multiple pregnancy is associated with problems at birth. It is interesting how many people who complete the research questionnaire say their birth was traumatic, and if indeed the pregnancy that produced them was in fact a multiple pregnancy, one would expect that.

So I have decided to find out a bit more with a wufoo form.

Its here:
http://althea.wufoo.com/forms/birth-trauma/

If you want to tell me more about your birth, do complete it for me. It will help.I will be using the results in the book, " Wombtwin survivors: the lost twin in the Dream of the Womb", to be published next year.