Autoimmune disease- is the body fighting with an absorbed twin?

Autoimmune diseases are the 3rd leading cause of morbidity and mortality in the industrialized world, surpassed only by cancer and heart disease. Nearly 80% of those affected with an autoimmune disease are women, usually of childbearing age or women under age 65. The National Institute for Health estimates that there are now 23 million Americans with an autoimmune condition, and that number is on the rise. To put that into perspective, 9 million Americans are affected by cancer. 

This is a quote from an excellent web site explaining all kinds of autoimmune disease and suggesting ways to combat them.   But at no stage does Paula Owens mention the possibility that the cells in the body being attacked may in fact belong to an absorbed twin.  

A young womb twin survivor in therapy - should I say?

I had a long and rather wonderful conversation with a trainee counsellor yesterday, who  works with children in schools. I  suggested that some of the children she met would probably be womb twin survivors.  How would I know? She asked. What would I say?

Several interesting ethical considerations arose:

1) If the parents made clear that the child was a twin before birth, then everyone would know, except probably the child. Should the counsellor ever explain, or even imply, to the child that some of what was coming up in the sessions was related to being a womb twin survivor? Or would it be best to let the child become aware in their own way and in their own time?

Womb twin kids: books to help parents to talk about it

The biggest problem parents have with bringing up a womb twin survivor is how to deal with the issue of the dead twin.  Some parents say nothing in the erroneous belief that  the child is best left in ignorance of such upsetting news, so ( often many decades later)  the survivor works it out in other ways, for the impression is always there in some form.

This is why we have the Womb Twin Kids project.

Some parents decide that is is best for their child to know, but  then other questions arise..

• How do I  describe the twin and the death of the twin?
• What is the best way to talk about  it?  
• How much information should I provide?
• Will my child be upset? If so, how can I help?

Womb twin kids - when the rest of the family looks on in silence

When it is clear to you that there is a young womb twin survivor in the family, and no one seems to be talking about it, what can one do?  This is a problem I have had from the beginning, ever since I learned how to recognise a womb twin survivor.   I notice womb twin survivors  all the time now - people of all ages, but when the individual concerned is a child, I badly want to speak out.  But should I?  Should anyone?  Should we speak out or remain silent?

It seems that there are several reasons why  its NOT a good idea to mention it...

1. Parents may be sensitive to implied criticism, as if there must be something wrong with their child.
2. The usual scepticism about the possibility that  the loss of a twin early in pregnancy can possibly have any kind of effect on the child who survives.
3. Its a private matter and no one should interfere with how any parent brings up a child.

(Of course I  have an additional problem, in that as founder of Womb Twin  I would think that, wouldn't I? People groan every time I mention it... Not again, they cry..... understandable enough I suppose.)

But there are more reasons why its worth mentioning, but how?

Emptness inside (2) self injury

Yesterday we looked at addiction as an expression of emptiness inside.  Another way to fill the emptiness is to fill it, not with reward and happiness, but with secret pain and shame.

This is an extract from a self injury site:
One of the most common factors connected to SI is shame. ‘Shame is a powerful emotion, able to alter thoughts, feelings, and even behaviors.’ Any shame or embarrassment that comes from SI can have a big effect on all parts of a self-injurers life such as friendships, school, and job performance. Also, shame is often a feeling that precedes SI, coming from events that happened earlier in the individual’s life. As has been stated earlier there is a obvious relationship between self-injury and child abuse. For many self-injurers, SI-ing is connected with a traumatic childhood. Feelings of shame and embarrassment often follow the traumas they have experienced. Many people who have been abused feel that it is their fault, that they somehow encouraged, initiated, or/and deserved the abuse. 

Emptiness inside (1) "Reward deficiency"

People have struggled  for a long time to discover what lies behind addictions of all kinds.  Learned journals and countless articles have attempted to clarify what lies behind  these extraordinary behaviors. One such, that captured my attention right at the start of my research in 2002, was written in 1996 and  is about a "Reward deficiency syndrome". 

That resonated with me, because its clear that addictions are an attempt to fill up the emptiness inside.  Womb twin survivors often mention emptiness, or feeling unsatisfied,  and many of these also say that are addicted to substances or behaviors that damage their health, wealth or well-being.  But these scientific research writers know nothing of the inner feelings of womb twin survivors, so the idea that emerges is some kind of "deficiency in the reward system of the brain". Like so many writers on the subject of addiction, they get so very close, but not close enough......

The high testosterone female

When a women has high levels of testosterone, she is likely to experience some characteristic symptoms, according to the experts,  but obesity does not seem to be often mentioned.

On this site for example they mention:,

• Increased Hair Growth:
• Male Pattern Baldness:
• Deepening of the Voice:
• Skin Problems: excessive oiliness and acne.

But obesity creeps in by the back door, as it were in the form of " insulin resistance": More serious symptoms of high testosterone in women are the major health risks that can occur. High testosterone levels have been linked to insulin resistance, a condition that interferes with the body's ability to regulate blood sugar levels. Insulin resistance can cause adult-onset diabetes, and can increase a woman's risk of heart disease as well as cancer of the breast and uterine lining.

Insulin resistance is known to be a major cause of weight gain. Strange how they missed that...... Again, as with the obese males I mentioned yesterday, when we see pictures of obese women who lose weight, it clearly looks as if they have reclaimed their femininity:

The high oestrogen male

When a man is over weight, he has soft contours, a rounded stomach and his muscles are not visible. He seems to be feminised.

If he loses weight he then reclaims his male energy and his masculine, muscular frame is now visible. He is now fully male.

You would think that the journey to reclaim  your own natural masculinity would be an easy one, but it is not.   I suggest that the high oestrogen male has extra oestrogens because he is a womb twin survivor who once had a sister and the connected placentas allowed the transfer of oestrogen into his body.  The oestrogen is part of him but does not naturally belong to him.  It was given by his sister.

To let go of the extra weight that is the physical manifestation of that female energy (the only residue of his lost twin in fact) is very painful and hard: see this video for a glimpse into that pain....

My twin baby vanished

On this forum Mums discuss their pregnancies. This Mum  said "I had Vanishing Twin Syndrome at my 16 week ultrasound nothing was left at all.. mine happened at 8 weeks... I am now a proud momma to a baby girl.. I still think about the other one sometimes.. I will probably tell her someday that she had a twin..."

The bereavement of mothers who lose one twin is not often considered, as this article shows:-

How Mothers Cope with the Death of a Twin or Higher Multiple

The Womb Twin Kids Project web site is now complete

Today I finished the Womb Twin Kids project web site.

Here is the logo:

On this site you will find details of four new books, which will appear in the next few months, to help children of various ages.

One of them, Two Little Birds, is about two little birds, Birdie and Beaky, who hatched out of the same egg.  Beaky, the weaker bird, was never able to fly properly and was soon lost among the flowers, leaving behind just one white feather. It is this same feather, the symbol of the lost twin, that adorns our logo.

Very exciting! I have the feeling that this is where my energy should now go.  I love children and have a grandson now, who is just about to celebrate his first birthday.  So here goes!

The vanishing twin syndrome "appears" in a counselling session

The twin who vanished is not gone: the vague memory of  Someone Else There remains in the mind of the survivor.  A trained and aware therapist can identify a womb twin survivor by their character traits and by the way they behave and what they say in the session. A sensitive therapist who can recognise the energy in the room can see changes in the energy as the subject is aired and worked through. This movie reveals a good example of this.



Five ways to "spot" a womb twin survivor in the therapy room:

When they find a "vanishing twin" on ultrasound...

Every day, in clinics around the world, pregnant women are being told by radiologists that one of their twins is "vanishing".  The idea of "vanishing" twins hardly describes what is really going on - a tiny twin  has died, will gradually disintegrate and in time no longer be visible.  They are not spirited away and do not suddenly disappear.




It is a pity that such a term was ever invented. It encourages all kinds of false beliefs.

4-D ultrasound of triplets crammed into a tiny space at 23 weeks old

Its not easy being a multiple!  There is a common misapprehension that fetuses in the womb cannot possibly be aware of each other....... hard to believe, when you see images like this, with three fetuses wrapped around each other!



But what if one of these triplets died? The two survivors would inherit more space, more nourishment and would be in a better state at birth, possibly born a little later and better developed than if there had been only two.  This is why "multi fetal pregnancy reduction" ( ie the abortion of one triplet to reduce the number to twins) is considered as a good idea, even a responsible action, by the doctors involved.

All the medical evidence says that babies do better as singletons than as twins, or as twins rather than as triplets. All the medical evidence is quite clear on this subject. No one thinks of the psychological effect.

The two surviving triplets, born as "fraternal twins", would be treated as twins all their lives, but they would both know, deep inside, that there should have been three. One day they will start wondering, even asking, about the other one.

What will the parents say then, I wonder?

There is a fully-referenced section on Multi-Fetal Pregnancy Reduction in my new book.

Womb Twin mathematics: Minus one....

Minus one

In the mathematics of conception, two becomes one.

Subtraction brings vanishing and extermination, 

Division multiplies yet diminishes into half.

Minus one, I am less than one, a negative number impossible to count.

In the language of conception plural becomes singular -

Wholeness becomes halfness and yet still one alone -

Plus and minus counteract and I must vanish into zero.

Minus one, I may be less than one, but I am more than zero!

Must I add another whole to make me one?

Must I divide and become two, to never be alone?

Impossible sums clash into negativity….

Plus one, I could be whole again!

Plus one, I  could be restored to half a pair!

But minus one is what I must be now

Forever -  into infinity.

Read more womb twin poetry here on this page

A healing path for womb twin survivors - soul pain

The healing path for womb twin survivors is a way of treating soul pain.

In his web site about soul pain, "Journey of Soul,"  Clay Miller writes:

Life is not about feeling good all the time. It's about being fully present with what is and letting everything in so that it can move through you. The nature of life is change and fluidity. And the extent to which you cling to permanence, security, stability is the extent to which you are committing soulful suicide and cannot be truly present in the world.

My own definition of soul pain would be a level of pain that is neither physical nor is it emotional - it's more spiritual. Its to do with loss and grief and in particular it concerns broken dreams and disappointed expectations. For some, they feel pain on behalf of others, and this hurts them, because they can do nothing to help that other person in their pain.

Beginnings: when your heart started beating

I found this little movie on the Science Photo lab site. Amazing images and movies about all kinds of things!

It shows the slight but definite spasm in each individual human heart cell.  Your heart started beating when you were about 21 days old - that is, it can be seen at that stage, but it may have begun even earlier.

Take a look

The SPL web site, where the movie can be seen.

The definition of life is that your heart is beating.  That applied once to your twin, and you would have been aware of your twin's tiny, fluttering heartbeat at some stage. If you were once a monozygotic twin, and your blood supply was linked to your twin's, then it was true that "two hearts beat as one" - in total synchrony. 

The synchrony can be so absolute that a doctor, listening to the fetal heartbeat with a stethoscope,  would not be able to tell if there was one baby there or two. This is how sometimes the arrival of two babies comes as a complete surprise to everyone involved!

ADHD - is it a womb twin survivor thing?

I found a nice slide show that simply describes ADHD  (Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)  in adults.

(View it here) 

ADHD: It's Not Just for Children

Most people think of children when they hear the term attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. But 30%-70% of kids with ADHD continue having symptoms when they grow up. People with ADHD have an imbalance of neurotransmitter activity in areas of the brain that control attention. In adults, the inability to stay focused can derail careers, ambitions, and relationships. Many adults don't realize they have the disorder, leaving them mystified about why their goals always seem to slip out of reach.

 

ADHD really came to the attention of the media in the 1980s, when it was first linked to food intolerance. At that time it was thought (oh no, not again!) that these restless children who could not concentrate were the products of "poor parental upbringing."  The parents in question made sure the world knew that it was the children, not the parents, who were driving this.
But the symptoms persist into adulthood, far beyond the reach of parents.  For ADHD adults,  the symptoms are now simply regarded as to do with a "lack of self control".   But no one knows why this is. What is ADHD, anyway?

How dizygotic twins develop in the womb : beautiful new artwork

On this page at the baby center, there is a series of pictures showing the development of dizygotic twins: This is the very start, at 3 weeks:

It is almost impossible to believe when you see these twins developing  that the twins do not have some kind of vague awareness of  each other.

I have found that dizygotic twins seem to recover and heal faster than monozygotic twins, but......

A report in the New York times of 29th May describes the life of two craniopagus twins, and asks the question - " Could conjoined twins share a mind?" 

It seems that they do. These twins are 4 years old. If one drinks too fast, the other complains that her stomach  is too full.  If one has a dummy to suck, the other is soothed.  The writer, Susan Dominus, spent five days with the twins to observe them, and the family. Twins evidently run in this family, in a variety of different ways.

The prebirth origins of codependent relationships (2) the end of the dance

In his book "Codependence: the dance of the wounded souls"  Robert Burney says:

"Emotionally we are drawn to people who feel familiar on an
energetic level. That is, people who, on an emotional vibrational
level, resonate with us as being familiar. It feels to us as if we
have a strong connection to those people. In other words, we
have an inner radar system that causes us to be attracted to
people who resonate vibrationally in a way that is familiar on an
emotionally intimate level. We are attracted to people whose
inner emotional dynamic is similar to our most powerful and
earliest experience of emotional intimacy and love - our
parents."

If I hear one more word about how emotional wounding is to do with parents - I will scream! 

The prebirth origins of co-dependent relationships (1)

If you ever wondered why people find it so hard to leave dysfunctional relationships, and indeed why those relationships are dysfunctional anyway, then consider the lost twin Dream of the Womb.

The womb twin hypothesis says this:

Womb twin survivors (ie the sole survivors of a twin or multiple pregnancy) seem to spend their lives re-enacting the life and death of their womb twin. Nothing appears to be more important than that, even life itself. Once the real pre-birth scene, which is being constantly re-enacted, is made clear, then the re-enactment tends to diminish or cease altogether, greatly to the benefit of the individual.

Just take a look at these three images, which are extracts from my Womb Twin presentation for workshops and conferences.

A new publicity leaflet now available..

With regard to the upcoming annual meeting of embryologists in Stockholm on July 6th, I  contacted them and asked them if we may display some leaflets. They said we may, but when I looked at the literature we do have, nothing seemed appropriate.  So I got busy and made one and printed out 40 or so to send and have on display at the event.

I thought you may like to see what it looks like, and maybe download one or more for your own use:

Towards the new healing book

At last, the shape of the new healing book is beginning to form in my mind.  At the moment, there is only an e-book with 30 steps and self-awareness exercises, which was written in 2004 and is now rather out of date, but at the moment it is the only resource I have for womb twin survivors to facilitate their healing. 

( Note: this is not the kind of e-book you can read on Kindle,  its a 32 page PDF file.) 

The Womb Twin Kids project - latest

So we held our first launch meeting last night, but there were  more of us than them : in fact there were none of them! We set out the room with a big display, using teddies for twin babies:

Another day, another article....

Today saw the publication of the Journal of the Association for The Association for Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology and Health.  Mainly concerned with childbirth issues, this organisation discusses the  long term effects on the adult of a variety of both prebirth and perinatal events.  The Journal is a particular delight to me, because so far they have published two articles by me - one on the possible prebirth origins of morbid obesity and the second out today, about the stress on a mother who has lost a twin in pregnancy and how her loss is usually unacknowledged:

Womb twin survivors and chimeras: The eyes have it

When two non-identical ( dizygotic) embryos merge one into the other, the result is one individual with a mix of DNA. The physical effects of carrying a load of someone else's DNA is  to have eyes of different colours or have one eye a different colour from the  other.  This condition is called heterochromia.

There are some well- known people whose eyes signal their status as a womb twin survivor who merged with  their twin shortly after conception:

On the BBC - and only one negative call!

Yesterday I went to the BBC Three Counties studios in Luton filled with nervousness which is unusual for me, as I like radio, but I was soon put at my ease, especially when I met the presenter.
He is Jonathan Vernon-Smith and he does a phone-in show.

You can listen to the programme online here ( my bit is in the middle)

Embryologists discuss the vanishing twins

European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology Annual Meeting July 3-6, 2011, Stockholm

Among the subjects to be discussed will be:

• Large new study helps disentangle the relationship between maternal characteristics, IVF treatment methods and singleton IVF children
• The "vanishing twin" phenomenon: can it explain congenital abnormalities in babies born after  IVF treatment?
• Large study of outcomes after ICSI reveals factors that are most likely to affect chances of a live birth and risk of first trimester pregnancy loss

One twin is doing well, the other is fading fast and will soon no longer be visible........

Calling all womb twin survivors who are writers!

I want to gather together a collection of stories about young womb twin survivors aged 9-13, as part of the Womb Twin Kids project (www.wombtwinkids.co.uk) and I don't think I can do this on my own because my own imagination doesn't stretch that far!   The stories will describe how the twin was lost and what it feel like to be a womb twin survivor. 

I know that many of you are writers. Would anyone like to help with this and write me a story for this book?  If you think you could, please contact me via the web site , thanks! 

Another way to help may be to tell me your story and allow me to adapt it, or if I already know your story, to use it as the basis for  one of the stories in the book.

I will need about 15 stories, including the following:

• fraternal twins, two girls
• fraternal twins two boys
• fraternal twins, boy and girl, girl survivor
• fraternal twins girl and boy, boy survivor
• Identical twins two girls
• Identical twins two boys

The reward will be in knowing you have helped young womb twin survivors.  This is not for profit, because all proceeds from sales of this book will go to Womb Twin.

Thanks!